Go press a cancer machine to your head.

I almost thought I didn't have a topic to write about today, but then a little voice (Redheaded Boy - he actually has a very large voice) in my head (by means of a cellular device) transmitted an idea to me that will ultimately go off-topic on a tangent only I will see the logic of.

See, Boy usually text messages me while on his break at work. I find this adorable. So when my phone vibrates obnoxiously on the desk beside me around noon time, I squeal with joy and snatch it up drooling voraciously.

Today, he asked when my break was so he could call me, and I was all AWWWW, Boy, you are the cutest! My boss is so incredibly laid back that I can just walk out of the office without saying anything to take a call, so Boy called, and we had a lovely chat for twenty minutes about Albanian opera singers and my fabulous ass in these gray pants and how he's going to take me out to dinner because he's sweet like that.

Okay, now that I'm done gushing, on to the real topic. Telephone conversations. I hates them. So much.

I know, I know! You're thinking, "What? But you're such a fun and popular and exciting girl with a life and friends - how could you not like talking on the phone?!" You probably weren't thinking that, but you'd better GET to thinking it, or else *shakes fist*. So yeah, no. I hate being on the phone. I hate calling people, I hate people calling me, and I hate any phone conversation that lasts more than four (exactly, not approximately) minutes. I use my phone to say, "Hey, I'm here" or to answer a call from someone saying, "Hey, I'm here" or on occasion, we have a, "Hey, want to come here and do this with us?" That's really the extent of what I use the phone for.

Or at least, that's how I used to be. I mean, I still go batshit insane (but am far too polite to say anything) when a conversation is full of empty lulls, or oh man, I hate it when someone is on the phone dictating what they're physically doing. I. Don't. Care. If you have to do something, just get off the god damned phone and do it.

I know it's easy to say, "Just hang up," but I just don't have it in me. I did the same thing yesterday at the mall. You know those kiosks in the middle, and the annoying sales people that try to make you buy crap you don't need? Well, I had a lady try it, and I actually managed to do a polite "No, thank you," and continue walking (I just learned to force this little maneuver), but then she tricked me by asking me something I didn't quite hear, so I stopped and listened to her go on and on about some nail kit that I actually already own (which I tried to tell her several times). I was there with Loo, and he was super annoyed, but I am just not that kind of person who can blow someone off, even though good lord I know I should.

A good image that sums up me, and then the rest of the world in response to me:

Ah, c'est la vie, no?

Anyway, what I'm getting at here is... what? I don't know. Um. Don't call me, I guess (except you, Boy - I totally dig phonin' with you).

Other random points (this may become a regular thing):

• It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is the best show I have seen in a while. I have been recommended many shows since them (such as Curb Your Enthusiasm and The Office), but I haven't gotten around to watching many. IASiP is really hilarious, though, and I wish the characters were real and lived in Massachusetts. Unfortunately, it is not always sunny here.
• I am alone in the office right now, and I have no idea where everyone else has gone to. I'm happy with it - I've unmuted the volume on this awful machine and am listening to Explosions in the Sky :)
• Redheaded Boy is getting an apartment, woo! The one he's looking at is only 4 miles from my house, too, which'll save us both a ridiculous amount of gas (he currently lives 20 miles away).
• I really want to move to Virginia. Random? Nah, my grammy used to live there when I was little. I visited Richmond in April and remembered how much I love it. I want to live in/near Carytown.
• It drives me insane that I want to do so many different things.
• I just realized that I didn't explain the post title -- I'm talking about how cellphones may or may not cause cancer. Summer talks about it in her new post here.
• Also, the picture was a result of a Google (heart Goog) image search for "talking on the phone." Weird, right?

Fin