And just what is it I want to be? Well, here's a bulleted list for you:
- Novelist
- Child psychologist
- Sex therapist
- Police officer
- Animal cop
- Veterinary assistant
- Vet Tech
- Vet
- Neurosurgeon
Jesus Christ, you might be saying. Jesus Christ, indeed. My problem is not that I am unambitious, no; quite the opposite. I'm far too ambitious, and I can't pick and choose just one thing and stick with it. It's really god damn annoying.
Right now, I'm clearly on the psychology path, what with getting my degree in it and all. Yet, is that really what I want, to listen to other people complain, pretending the whole time that I actually care and see them as more than just a walking credit card? That doesn't sound so appealing. And how about that writer dream I've had since I wrote my very first story when I was six (and it wasn't bad for a six-year-old, either)? Can't forget it. And I love animals, wouldn't it be great to work with them instead of insufferable humanity? Damn right. I'm not joking about the neurosurgeon bit either.
Lately, I've wanted more than anything to get into law enforcement. Problem is, even with frequent google searches and such, I can't seem to figure out how. The best I can guess is you have to have an associates or bachelor's degree in Criminal Justice ( allcriminaljusticeschools.com ), and either apply directly to a law enforcement agency that may have no openings, or hope a recruiter comes to you. After that, you have to attend a 12 to 14 week police academy program.
Come on. That's retarded. If I want to put my life on the line and ultimately get shot in the face by some kid robbing a fucking Honey Farms, it should be a hell of a lot easier for me to do so than spending two more years in classes I don't want to attend, followed by maybe getting into a police academy, and spending four months having the spirit beat out of me, and then maybe, just maybe be hired by an agency that'll probably be halfway across the damn country, forcing me to pick up my life and move away (not that I would mind leaving this state forever and ever).
Since when did it get so hard to have a goddamn career?
10 comments:
Once again an entertaining piece. Thanks for gracing us!
Thanks for reading, fellow minion :)
hey i thought being a nearosurgeon would be cool too! and i thought about psychology too but youd have to be crazy to do that ha ha ha....
Har har, Niky. Lol, arrrrr.
What is this?! When I check your blog, there are no posts. When I don't check your blog, there are posts. Argggh.
I believe I also played a hand in harassing you into posting as well. It was well worth the effort of harassing you, this post is exactly what I've come to expect of you: One part seriousness, two parts cynicism, and two parts humor.
Also, this post is incredibly well edited. In fact, this post is so clean that I could eat off of it. That would be weird, though.
Good work. I want more.
Sorry, dear. And yes, I updated mostly because you suggested I do so.
Thank you for the compliments ^_^ I think you're being too generous.
Do it. Eat off it. Right. Off. Of it.
Haha.
Ah, the modest response. Unnecessary though, as you know you're both an excellent and witty writer.
Please do grace us with another serving.
...And don't mind if I do.
Not for nothing, but I think when people have a lot of varied interests, while it makes decision making sometimes difficult, since we live in a can-only-have-it-one-way-all-or-nothing society, the people who can go in so many different directions are the valuable people who have interesting conversations about lots of things.
You raise an interesting thing about human nature: our diversity. All of us have unique interests, hobbies, and perspectives, many of which don't have anything to do with each other. I think that's what makes us so interesting. I also think it's part of the reason we have the subconscious desire to get to know each other. We have so many unique abilities and things to learn from one another. We wouldn't have an ability to learn if we didn't want to.
Imagine the state of the world if we didn't?
Post a Comment