Bitches be CRAYZAY!

Recently, I started spending time with a man I’ve been interested in for a while.  We met at work, but he was indirectly my supervisor, and our company has a pretty strict fraternization policy.  However, over the last few months, we became very friendly, spending a little too much time talking together, getting coffees and lunches, hanging out in his office, and so on.  It was exceedingly obvious that he had mutual feelings for me, so when he secretly informed me that he was interviewing with another company, I was thrilled.  As soon as he had secured the position and put in his notice, I pounced, and things were looking good.

And then we slept together.  I had a sneaking suspicion that he was going to get a little distant once we had crossed this milestone, and to my great unsurprise, he did.  A few days later, I received a text message from him, informing me that he didn't want "anything serious" and just wanted to "make sure we're on the same page."

Phew!  Good thing he told me early so I could return those matching wedding bands!

It’s not the fact that he doesn’t want a relationship that bothers me.  It’s not even the delivery (a text, I mean, really?!).  What really irks me about the situation is that he assumed, as most men seem to, that I was going to get clingy because we slept together.  Frankly, I’m insulted.

I do, of course, realize that many women tend to get more intense feelings after reaching that level of intimacy with a partner; it’s an evolutionary trait (honest, it really is; look it up).  However, men seem to assume that ALL women ALL the time are going to turn into crazy, needy banshee creatures that will swoop in and ruin their lives.

This guy isn’t the only one.  In fact, the last two pseudo-relationships I’ve started have gone the same way – we go out a few times, everything is light and fun, and then, when I finally give in to their advances, it suddenly gets weird.  Is it just too soon?  How long are you supposed to wait?  Why does it even matter?!  AREN’T WE ALL ADULTS HERE?!?!

Here’s the thing about me: I like sex.  Wait, no, sorry – actually, I love sex.  When I'm comfortable with and attracted to another person, it's something I could do three times a day, every day, and not get bored.  Even if it's pretty much the same moves every single time, I still want to do it.  Beyond the physical awesomeness, I really enjoy that insanely intimate connection, especially if he's into kissing and looking into each others' eyes and being all passionate and shit.  Or hair pulling and rough stuff.  Or gentle, sweet, tender stuff.  It doesn't matter!  I love that the things I do makes the other person feel pleasure, and I just love... well, sex!

On that note, I can -- and have -- had wonderful, sexy, exciting one night stands.  I don't make it a habit, but every once in a while, the opportunity comes up, and why say no?  I generally don't intend for it to be just one night; it just works out that way.  And that's cool.  I'm not going to be blowing up anyone's phone or driving by his place; if he wants it again, he knows how to get a hold of me.  If he doesn't, it's his loss.

Besides, I'm all like...

I'm not looking to get married.

I'm not clingy.

I'm not jealous.

I'm not high maintenance.

Men overthink things.  A lot more than they like to admit.  Just relax and enjoy how awesome I am.  Holy hell.