Weird Video: Wacky Soccer

Most people who know me are aware that I used to play soccer; I stopped when I tore a tendon in my knee. I was reminded of this during my interview today (Matt Corbett is a delightful man), and realized, not for the first time, how much I miss playing. So here's a video in tribute to a sport no one really likes anyway.





Also, I'm aware that I haven't been posting anything of substance for a while, and I apologize. That should change soon. Or not. We'll see.

Weird Video: Some stupid Japanese soap opera

I wouldn't recommend watching this whole thing, because it's ten minutes long and stupid, but at least watch the intro. You may also notice that it's the sixth in the series -- some asshole made seven of these.

Weird Video: 300 (PG version)

This is the stupidest, yet funniest thing, I've seen today.

What the Shit?!

Sometimes, for some reason, a human being is subjected to terrible things that are good cause for a "What the shit?!" exclamation. For example, there exists such thing as the hideous coconut crab. According to that Wiki page, it's the largest land-living (don't crabs normally live in the ocean?) arthropod, and it's related to the hermit crab.

Like Bob, I'm terrified of the ocean and the things in it. That said, I present you with this picture, and my feelings on it:




What the shit?!

The Penny Arcade Remix Project

Now, this is a little old, but I rather feel that it didn't get enoufg attention. See, though the Yukihime.com blog has been shut down, they left the archives up, and that is where you can find the Penny Arcade Remix Project. In short, a guy in Japan gave his high school students blank PA comics and told them to add their own english dialogue. He even took the time to mark the ones he found funniest.

Either way, I stole three of my favorites, and threw them up here, just for you. They are scanned photocopies, so they're a little hard to read. My apologies.


Tycho is confused



The Son of God is a writing utensil



Gabe feels under appreciated

Weird Video: Bambi just wants a strawberry

I couldn't resist putting this up -- I can't stop giggling whenever I watch it. A friendly warning: it's obnoxiously loud (and maybe just regular obnoxious, too).



It's also a little sad to think that some guy was doing that to his kid brother. But what are siblings for, right?

Saddest Picture Ever

Since no one can see it on Bob's page, here it is:



I love it and hate it at the same time.

Video: Crysis

PLAY THIS GAME. Period.

Web Comic: Wondermark

Now, I know this might be a little hard to take in, but I am a bit of a... well, a geek. I know, I know -- it seems totally counter intuitive that a female should hold such a title (along with "new age punk," apparently), but it's true. I love computers and video games and I've recently been getting back into my old favorite -- web comics.

This evening, I found myself reading one of the very best comics of all time: Wondermark. It's created by one very strange David Malki ! (yes, the exclamation is necessary), and is made with endless amounts of antique-looking artwork. I won't lie, while all the strips are hilarious, some (most) of them can probably be classified as fucking weird. To demonstrate, I have uploaded my all-time favorite comic, which is also probably the very weirdest:

Now, just so the oddness of this one doesn't turn you off, I've also included one that's a bit easier to follow:

Love it. You know you already do. Go on, go read the archives. I promise I won't tell anyone.

Video: Tom & Jerry

I've been watching a lot of Youtube videos this evening, and a friend reminded me of my favorite Tom & Jerry scene of all time. I loved that show growing up.

Does anyone else remember it?

Weird Video: KP vs Batguy

I just wanted to share my favorite video of all time, made by Attack of the Show when it was worth watching. It stars my only celebrity crush, Kevin Pereira, and a mysterious, masked stranger who's watched far too many of the Batman movies far too many times. It's hilarious.

Have you ever...

Have you ever stood back and taken a good look at yourself, at who you are, at what you've done and your motives... and been absolutely disgusted to find that you aren't who you believed yourself to be?

In that moment, shock does what it does best and time seems to stop. In this impossible, physics-breaking eternity, you take a good, hard look at yourself. Did you really just do that/say that/make that decision? Why, why would you do that? That's not at all like you.

Well, let me tell you what happens next. You get angry. Not the typical someone-else-just-fucked-my-significant-other angry, but a burning, deeper anger. A helpless anger. There's no target to lash out at, no one to aim your rage at. There's only you. If you're anything like me, that's probably the scariest place to be, alone with yourself. Most people are far from kind with their own person, and when there's no one else to blame, there's only you, naked and unable to hide.

This is not a pleasant view. I suppose it differs for everyone. For me, I just saw a scared little girl. She was cowering, though there seemed to be no overt threat. Just afraid of everything, I guess. Afraid, perhaps, because she was weak.

In high school, my friends always used to insist that I needed to learn to stand up for myself, to learn to say no. “Jamie,” they would say, “if you don’t want to do it, just say so. That’s all you have to do.” I never really did learn to do that; I still feel the need to make up excuses whenever I’m not inclined to say yes.

I wonder if that works the other way, too. I rather think it does. If I want something, all I have to do is try. Well, why wouldn’t anyone be capable of that? I always thought I was. It seems, though, watching that little girl tremble and hide her face, that I am not.

Ever watched something important slip through your hands like water? Most likely. Now, have you ever watched something slip through your hands like water… after you purposely spread your fingers? All you need to do to keep the water there is form a cup. So why didn’t you? Why didn’t I?

The question, “Why?” is probably the hardest to answer. You can try to reason with it all you want, but it doesn’t go away. Not until you figure out the real answer. The real answer is generally the most painful one, the one you try to push away, to keep buried. You don’t want to see that answer. It has the potential to reveal something about yourself that you don’t want to be shown. You’re happy not knowing the truth – ignorance is indeed bliss.

Even now, I don’t really know why. Why I’d rather just give up than pick up a god damned phone. Why I can’t just put more effort into something I really wanted. Why I ultimately decided to let go, rather than fight for something I know – have always known – would be great.

I suspect that that little girl is flawed. She’s flawed, and maybe she puts her face in her hands because she knows I can read it in her eyes. She doesn’t want me to see it because I don’t want her to show me. No one would. Coming to terms with something that will surely cause you to lose faith in yourself is hard. It’s tough to realize that you’re disappointed with yourself, as a person.

Is there anything more discouraging?

Weird Video: Tiny Sharks Suck at Hunting

Some of you may have seen this video if you checked out the related videos after Bob's Crayfish Proof video. For those of you that didn't, I thought it was pretty awesome, so I decided to share it with you.

Blog Review: I Can Has Cheezburger

Anyone that has never been to I Can Has Cheezburger should be shot. Now, I know I already said Gaijin Smash is my favorite blog to read, but I check ICHC generally every day. No joke.

For those of you unfamiliar with the concept of LoLCats, they are pictures of cats in odd poses or places to which grammatically incorrect captions are added for amusement. There are other types of LoLthings, including the LoLrus and LoLBots (particularly nerdy). Sure, plenty of people don't find these poorly-spoken felines as hilarious as I do, but those people were likely raised in strict, hypocritically religious families with fathers that beat the childhood out of them at a young age, so they unfortunately grew up without any sense of humor and a stupidly opinionated disposition.

Another neat feature on ICHC is their LoLCat Builder, where you can make your very own LoLCats! I lack the wit this very delicate procedure requires, but you can always try -- the only downside is that mods screen all sumbissions, and they may take some time to get to yours. It ensures that there aren't any "Cockz lulz" submissions, though.

That said, I leave you with a few of my favorites:

Random post: Song lyrics

I've been listening to two songs on repeat in the last few weeks; the first, of course, is New Found Glory's "Sonny" (lyrics posted previously). The second is one I had forgotten about for some time. I listened to it often two summers ago, when I came home to an empty house the day my grandfather was rushed to the ER. Luckily, that time, his open-heart surgery went well, and he's been home and fairly healthy since.

Either way, I suppose this song touches on some of the things I've felt since I heard about my brother. This is "Should've Been There" by Earshot.

I hope I'm not too late

I hope that you're ok

I left in a hurry

As soon as they told me

So I prayed for you

Hang on till tomorrow

Just don't leave me here today

I'm coming home to you

(Should've been there)

Should've been there, I wanted to

(Should've been there)

Should've been there right next to you

(Should've been there)

Should've been there to comfort you

(Should've been there)

Should've been there to sing to you

(Should've been there)

Should've been there to hold your hand

(Should've been there)

Should've been there to be with you

After all that we've been through

Yes, it's hard to say goodbye

And what I wish right now is to somehow turn back time

With all of the love

And respect

That I hold right here for you

Hang on 'til tomorrow

Just don't leave me here today

I'm coming home to you

The funny thing is, Matt would've kicked my ass for being so whiny over losing him, always the protective big brother. I just still can't believe he's gone -- I feel like I should be able to call him and hear him pick up on the other end.

The sun will set for you.

Blog Review: Outpost Nine

Since I did Gaijin Smash, I feel obligated to do the original site that the Japanese Schoolteacher series was posted on. Outpost Nine is another editorial blog, also maintained by Azrael, that isn't Japan-focused. Since the guy lives in the country, there's naturally some crossover, but there are many neutral yet hilarious posts, such as Mating Rituals (clubbing) and Anti-Valentines Day.

If you'd like to read honest cynicisms from a talented and entertaining writer, check out the site. He just recently started updating it again, after taking a break to move the Schoolteacher editorials to Gaijin Smash, and he's just as good as he was before.

Especially amusing are his "A Picture's Worth" set; where else can you find things like the Poopy Picker?

Yes, that's a real picture.

Blog Review: Gaijin Smash

My original intent for this blog was to be a review site for other blogs. Obviously, I have strayed a bit from this idea, but I don't think it's a bad thing -- my previous posts have been well-received thus far, so I'll probably stick with the amalgamation of the things I have so far, plus whatever else I feel like throwing in.

Anyway, here's the first blog review:


Gaijin Smash is my most favorite blog to read when I'm bored. It's a non-fiction blog, which may sound dull, but I'll honestly say that is the last possible thing it could be.

It's about an American man living in Japan. Doesn't sound exciting? Well, then you probably don't know how absolutely fucked up Japanese culture is. Now, before you start calling me racist and culturist and whatnot, try reading some of this guy's posts. You wouldn't believe some of the things he's seen/heard/experienced/been horrified by.

Reading Azrael's (the author) posts will educate you in the following subjects: the game of Kancho, Dodgedick and Dodgedick Sense, the meaning of Gaijin/Gaijin Powers/Gaijin Perimeter/ect, Massive Melon Tits, porn on trains, and much, much more.

No, I'm not kidding.

Either way, Azrael is very articulate and very, very funny. I have found myself in silent computer labs on campus, reading the blog for lack of anything more productive to do (usually when skipping a class), and I'll suddenly surprise myself and annoy everyone else with a loud laugh. The angry looks are worth it, though, and I just keep reading, so the cycle continues.

In conclusion: It's funny, and addictive. Read it.