Oh, the lives we lead.

Exhibit A: A goofy picture of yours truly. Excuse the ridiculous expression, it was my twenty-fourth birthday celebration at my favorite dive bar. I realize those of you who are nice may tell me I look fine, yadda yadda, and believe me, I know I'm not 'fat.' But if you look closely, you can see soft, chunky arms, a pooch belly, saddlebags, and oversized thighs. They're not gigantic imperfections, but they could most certainly use improvement.

Exhibit B: My scale. I stand five feet, two inches, and my scale says I weigh about 143 (it varies by up to three pounds up or down each day). As far as Body Mass Index standards, I fall safely into the Overwight category with a BMI of 26.2. Normal weight is between 18.5 and 24.9, so it's not like I'm just squeaking over the line. Admittedly, BMI calculators take no account of muscle mass, which will make a person heavier than someone of the same size with no muscle. They tell you to try measuring your waist circumference, and to worry if it's over 35 inches (for women). Mine is only 27 inches, but my hips also measure 40, which is likely larger than normal.

Exhibit C: My very own boyfriend, the first man in my life who has made me feel confident in my appearance whether my clothes are on or off, agrees with me that I will look better if I lose some weight. He said it in a nice way, and he only said it because I asked, but it still stung a bit. He's always telling me that I'm good-looking -- usually because I just told him he's sexy -- but to hear it come from him was just an affirmation of my own fears.

Exhibit Zero: The final exhibit is non-existant. When it did exist, it was a picture the boy snapped of me when we took a trip to the beach last week. In a bikini; I will pause so you can gasp in shock........ I came across said atrocity while preparing our photos for upload to Facebook, and my jaw dropped in horror. Not only did I appear to be almost twice the size I thought I was, but the cruel beach sunlight highlighted and accentuated the mass of cottage cheese hiding under my skin. Terrible! I shrieked and deleted the offense before anyone else could lay eyes on it and lose their retinas.


So, basically, what I'm saying is I want to lose some weight. Not anything unreasonable, but I figure I'll go in steps. Ultimately, I'd like to drop about 25 pounds, but I don't plan to check my weight every few hours. I'm thinking more like once a week. My goals will be things like going running at least 3 nights a week, or walk at least a half hour 5 to 6 days, and I'm just going to try to eat better and focus on physical activity. Luckily, it's getting warm out and the boy loves going to walks!

I also ventured out and purchased some oatmeal and Slim Fast shakes. They recommend having two a day, but they're $5 for 6 cans, which adds up to $50 a month. That's a little much. So the plan is: oatmeal, Kashi cereal, or fruit for breakfasts; Slim Fast for lunches; and Lean Cuisines (surprisingly tasty) for dinners, with apples and baby carrots and bananas thrown in for snacks. I'm also going to start taking vitamins again to make up for the things I'm probably not getting.

Of course, dieting is not a sustainable weight control method, but I'm also hoping to retrain myself to choose healthier options. So eventually, I won't have to buy Slim Fast anymore, and I'll one day hit my goal of about 115lbs.

I'll keep you updated on how I do. Wish me luck! No, better yet, wish me determination and self control :)